I have really been through some internal turmoil about my attitude lately though, I don't like it and neither does my family (half the time). Internally I have been asking God why He thinks I can cope with two sets of twins and almost blaming Him for "blessing" me with so much. I've been complaining internally to myself and God about how I have no time for myself. On an average day I get up at 6:30 and I am on my feet until 10 maybe 11 at night. It leaves me frazzled and it becomes easier and easier to find someone else (family or otherwise) to blame for everything that goes wrong or annoys me or takes more time or...or...OR! It's a miserable state to be in, and deep down I knew it.
So I have a new outlook on life. Instead of "Oh GOD! How can I cope today?" Or sometimes, "What WAS God thinking when he 'blessed' me with this beautiful lot of screamers?!" The simple act of getting up and out the door on time for this Bible study course is teaching me how to focus more on how EXCITED I am about the day and how I can do A LOT more than I thought I could in a lot less time. Sometimes (most of the time) I surprise myself by how well things go on Wednesday mornings. I get up at 6am and get all four children changed, dressed, fed and out the door within the hour.
And so I take one day a week to go to Bible Study and get out of the house. The course work itself is teaching me to be more grateful for the gifts in my life and the wonderful women are helping to teach me that I really am doing a good job with my kids even if I feel completely overwhelmed 65% of the time and mostly overwhelmed the rest of the time!
I've been approached by several of the women taking this class with me (and people outside too, when we go to Costco and such) and many of them ask me "how I do it", call me Super Mom or tell me that they are encouraged or inspired by me, some of these people I don't even know.
Inspired?! By me?? What?? I smile and say thank you, I tell most of them life is hectic but very blessed and leave it at that. I have thought often to myself that I'm definitely NOT Super Mom. I don't do all that I should do all the time, there are almost always a few daily tasks that don't get finished, or even started...but none of us get everything done every day, and striving for that kind of perfection is part of what leads me to a resentful attitude!
We ALL need a break and I am certainly not any different. I am EXHAUSTED by the end of each day, even the days when 'The Hallet Hoard' stay at home. I do all that I do because I want the best for my family. I do it because I want my children to have the 'same sort' of upbringing as other children, so that their Mommy does FUN stuff with them, not just sits at home and has a 'stinky attitude'! ;-)
So...all of that was build up to this:
Several people have asked me what my days are like on an average Wednesday so I'm going to cover it here.
All the magic begins on Tuesday night. My husband and I tag team, one of us works on getting the pre-schoolers to bed around 8pm, the other makes sure the babies are settled down and sleeping. Once all the kiddos are asleep I get their bags ready, their lunch ready, the bottles of milk ready, etc. I then haul everything out to our car.
On Tuesday nights I prepare:
1 Diaper Bag, (this is usually a bigger back pack seeing as it has to fit everything I need for the day to cover FOUR children)
- extra set of girls clothes x2
- extra set of boys clothes x2
- UNDERWEAR for boys (jeez, potty training!)
- bags for dirty diapers, dirty clothes and dirty underwear
- sippy cups
- formula or frozen breast milk
- a full 2 gallon water jug water for the car (for formula/drinking water etc)
- at least 2 burp cloths
- binkies (at least 4)
1 Lunch bag
- Primal/Paleo lunch for myself and two three year olds
- TWO (to go) mugs for the car FULL of coffee ;-)
- breakfast for the car
-Study book and not to forget a Bible.
I then lay all their clothes out so that I'm not bleary eyed and put them in polka dot shirts and stripey pants in the morning. ;-)
Once that's all done, I blog or clean/wash dishes or vacuum...or sometimes when I'm lucky, I get to sit down with the hubby and watch some TV for an hour or so.
-DRINK COFFEE (sometimes gulp coffee)
- Change diapers for 2 babies
- Clothe 2 babies in daytime clothes
- Change diapers for 2 preschoolers
- Cloth 2 preschoolers in daytime clothes
- Get myself dressed
- Put my make up on so that I look at least a little put together. ;-)
(All this takes me about 45 minutes, half an hour if I push it and do it double time. lol)
-7:15am Herd children toward car, herd children in to car, herd children in to car seats, strap children in to car seats, place babies in car seats, strap babies in to car seats.
- 7:45am (if all has gone well...) Strap myself in to car, start car, leave house!
-8:45-9:15 (roads can be rough) Get to Church, put the boys in Child Care and take the girls into study with me. (They don't as of yet have baby care...which is, well...the way its gotta be so its OK)
-11:30 Finish Bible Study
-12:00-12:30 everyone in the car
-1:00-1:30 Kids Quest Museum which we have a membership to
- Lunch first, then...
-CRAZINESS running around the kids museum (kids have a FABULOUS time though)
-2:30 Leave and pick up Daddy in Seattle
-3:30-4 Daddy comes home
I called this post "Dreading the day or...embracing it???" because I wanted make a point. I could dread the day OR I could embrace it. Every day that we wake up is a gift and if I dread the day then I'm not looking forward to all the gifts that God has prepared for me. Even if it's just a smile from one of my little girls in my HECTIC day, or my screaming three year old who wants things his way (again), I should look at that moment in time as a gift, my three year old is asserting his independence or my little girl is HAPPY. Embrace It.
So first of all I want to tell you that I am NOT Super Mom. I don't have it all right at the right times...and I may inspire you or encourage you, (and THANK YOU if you've told me that) but I'm just the same as any of us. I have the same heart and the same wants for my family. I'm trying my hardest to be the best wife and the best mother I can be. For that matter i'm trying my hardest just to be the best person I can be. we are all walking along the same path and learning from each other. In today's world that path is almost always FILLED to the brim with busy-ness but we keep moving. Keep looking for the blessings and Embrace living a life of Extreme Mommying.
Peace and may God inspire you to embrace the day!